Monday, August 23, 2010


QUOTE OF THE DAY: **Well laden church with the sombre mood of a funeral proceeding. Dialogue audible to the extent of no longer being a private conversation ** "You see that little guy... Down syndrome. I work with people like that. Isn't he gorgeous?!"

OUTTAKES: Allow me to once again set the scene... The modern day funeral, generally free of pomp & ceremony, aims to accommodate those of all beliefs, probably due to the fact that friendship is not religious. With that in mind the display of the day maintained the traditional undertaking of a catholic mass in it's entire glory.

The priest stands... the second priest stands... the brother stands. Main priest raises his open hands to the heavens and waits for a response... A group of five promptly rise to the cue. Many turn to see what commotion has unfolded aft. Awkwardly pockets of people with an air of uncertainty rise to attention. Most remain seated hoping nobody will notice.

The Lord is my shepherd... unless no one else is following... Time for Vatican III???

APPLICATION: To apply, or not to apply??? That is the question. There is indeed more than one way to arrive at a dream. I find the best way is to remain still in a quiet, dark room with the warmth of bedding and the comfort of a good mattress. This is what I determine to be the "easy way". The next easiest way is to prostitute my personality and talent, or be it lack there of, to a television program.

Masterchef 2011...

Thursday, August 19, 2010 we go

...what better place to start than with a good old fashioned whinge??? As I manage to wind up the fourth consecutive twelve hour day of love (note sarcasm here), I hear the recently somewhat familiar sound of yet another miserable day of weather. I guess a decade of drought deserves the first real winter I've experienced since I've been "senior" enough to care, or in fact store the memory into a vacant corner in my long-term memory. I can build the tone of my day around it's weather. Adjectives such as cold, turbulent, uncomfortable, miserable and erratic spring to my now incoherent mind.

My day began with sunshine. I don't intend to sound like a mushy git, but seeing my girl for the first time this week for breakfast produced a strange sensation around the extremities of my mouth otherwise referred to as a smile. It was in fact probably one of two mutually appreciated moments of human interaction I've been involved with today and I think I'll choose to take that memory with me into tomorrow. The remaining moments of my day will fall victim to the self-imposed sensory frontal lobe lobotomy I shall perform on myself after I leave the office..... BEER!

Sunshine faded away the closer I came to arriving at work. Encountering belligerent twits who had chosen to share the roads with me and the seemingly never ending taunts of consecutive red lights intensified the closer I drove to the industrial estate. It's amazing how challenging human beings can find it to show their fellow man/woman consideration and courtesy! Everyone is travelling in the same direction on the left hand side of an Australian road, everyone is probably running two minutes behind schedule and that one car length you managed to get in front by cutting someone else off saved you no more than a second or two in the grand scheme of things and as angry as you are that the person you cut off sounded their horn at you, they're probably just as annoyed. If you took a deep breath, adjusted your speed to the flow of the traffic and merged like you cared about the well being of those around you as much as your own you may have spent two seconds and have saved a couple of  points on your, and every other surrounding driver's next blood pressure test... ASSHOLE!

The turbulent, cold and erratic weather developed when I turned my computer on and assumed the position I had left not thirteen hours prior. There's something entirely deflating about spending every daylight hour with your head to the grindstone for two weeks straight and still receiving requests for work that hasn't even been looked at yet. Ah, the pleasures of working for "the man". "The man" is a somewhat unrealistic individual (or two perhaps) that anticipates an individual to be capable of doing the tasks sufficient to keep at least one other poorly informed employee busy for the duration of a working period. One day someone will surely recognise a hidden talent that they will throw money at me to perform and I will not even need to try to make the almighty buck that will fund me living a life of doing the things I feel are important. Food, music, international culture, cycling, fitness in general  - that all makes more sense to me. I suggest we all reflect on how brilliantly perfect a simplistic existence could be... CAVEMAN!

The saving grace for this day of discomfort and misery is that it's one less day before I embark upon an adventure of epic proportion. 11 nights of slumber will have me delivered to the day of departure where the Liberty of Conviction Tour 2010 will begin and for three weeks I will leave this place behind.

Mutual Smiles = 2
Hung up on best friend = 1
Times I used profanity = >this guy can remember
People I complained to that didn't particularly care = 3+
Times the phone rang and I didn't feel like the guy from Stanley Kubrick's "Clockwork Orange" = 0
People encountered too full on self importance to listen to anyone else = 2

I'd rate that as a success...

CONCLUSION - The weather sucked nuts today, so did the general day itself and tomorrow will certainly be an improvement!